Category: love

is true love possible?

Posted in God, love, marriage, questions, relationshipsTagged , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

From a young age, boys and girls grow up with the stories of true love like Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, and countless romantic classics that depict men as chivalrous rescuers and woman as radiant beauties. As we grow older we love still stories like The Notebook and Braveheart because women want to be pursued and men want to sweep their beauty off their feet. We are wired to want life long love.

The Bible has a lot to say about love and relationships. Thus far we have discussed four of God’s standards for relationships. First, both partners must be faithful followers committed to Jesus Christ. Second, marriage is a picture of a divine and permanent relationship. Third, sexual intimacy is for the marriage bed only. Fourth, every relationship with the opposite sex must be viewed as sacred. And today we will see that you cannot get a refund your relationships.

You live a world where you can return anything. Even dumping your lover or signing divorce papers are easy as taking back a pair of shoes to Payless. So what’s the use of marriage vows? A vow is not “I hope so” or “I will try my best”; rather it is “I will!”  When I gazed into the eyes of my wife on the altar during our wedding ceremony I repeated to her, “I Justin, take you Sarah, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death takes us apart. And this day pledge to you my faithfulness.” In that moment, I was sobered by the serious this vow. I was committing myself to another human being. When it comes to relationships—particularly marriage—there is no return policy. No divorce or dumping can erase one-flesh.

Is true love possible?

Have you ever heard of the love story of Hosea and Gomer? With a name like Gomer it must be one amazing love story!? Gomer might not sound beautiful, but the story of Hosea and Gomer is one of the most endearing true love stories of the Bible. Hosea the prophet married Gomer the prostitute. Now most romances usually do not begin like this, but God arranged this marriage. However, through their relationship you will see a husband’s unconditional love for his wife.

Hosea knew about Gomer’s promiscuous past and probably knew that being married to a woman with this kind of baggage would not be easy. He was right. After they had three children together [1:2-9], Gomer ran away from her home and went back to work selling herself on the street. In our day, she would be arrested and removed of all custody to be near her children. In her day, she could have been killed or sold into slavery. She was running from more than her husband and children, she was running from God.

God let Gomer run for a little while through the thorns, but He did not let her run for long [2:6-10]. All the while He was right besides her, pursuing her heart, blocking her path, and whispering in her ear, “Where are you running to, my dear child.” God is a pursuer-lover. He does not let go of those He loves, even if they shamelessly spit in His face.

The story of Hosea and Gomer has such similarity to story of the father and his prodigal son [Luke 15:11-32]. The son asked for an early installment on his dad’s inheritance. The dad graciously gave it up to his son only to have him bolt immediately to blow it all in a Vegas night. The night ends with the son wrestling pigs for their slop. The father freely let his son run, but when the son came back begging for mercy the father embraced his son and threw him a welcome home celebration. God gives you freedom to run with boundaries. Your God-given freedom does not give you the right to break God’s guidelines for life for this will make you a slave to your own sinful passions.

Gomer came to the place where she had nothing.  She was stripped of everything. I suppose she reaped what she sowed; she got what she deserved. In her mind, the only solution was to sell herself as a slave. The story does not end on here; Hosea buys Gomer from the slave market [3:1-3]. Can you picture the moment? Can you see Hosea leaving his home, looking in his wallet at the money he would use to purchase back his promiscuous wife and mommy of three children? Can you hear the auctioneer bidding with Hosea responding, “15 pieces of silver”? I can imagine Gomer’s eyes filling with tears as she sees her husband pursuing her to restore her as his wife.

The love story of Hosea and Gomer mirrors Gods love towards Israel. God in a sense wed Himself to an unfaithful people. God made a covenant relationship with Israel. This covenant came with blessings and curses depending on Israel’s fidelity and loyalty. Since, Israel was unfaithful the curses were being activated [cf. blessings and curses of Deuteronomy 28; R.C Sproul, Curse Motif].

What are the relationship lessons learned from Hosea and Gomer?

First, God is angered by unfaithfulness. God is particularly outraged by unfaithfulness towards Him. When you rebel against God there must be a consequence. God is like a jealous husband who desires His wife solely and for her not to share her love with another.

Second, God is a loyal lover. God’s faithful love is unfathomable. Although the people He loves are unfaithful He bends over backwards to buy back His promiscuous bride. He runs with an eager pursuit to express His unconditional love to His people.

Third, idolatry can creep into any relationship. Israel’s unfaithfulness had to do with their love for another god. Moreover their religious practices became an idol that clouded them from seeing their One True Love. Idolatry is sharing your love with something other than God. People can be idols, but God never meant for marriage to be-all.

Fourth, God’s anger and love must lead to our repentance. This is the gospel—man is responsible to God, man rebels against God, Jesus redeems man, and man responds to God’s love. Instead of Gomer being on the auction block it is you. Your sin put you on the slave market, but Jesus stepped in to purchase you as His own. He raised His nail pierced hands claiming you as His child. The gavel falls, “Sold!” The price for your soul was the Son of Man shedding His blood on the cross. The love story of Hosea and Gomer is most clearly seen in the person and work of Jesus Christ.

True love is possible. Obedience to Christ is the starting point towards knowing what true love is all about. Without a relationship with Jesus Christ you will not know what true love is or how to share it with another person. The sacrificial and unconditional love of Jesus Christ is our model for true love. I am certainly glad that God did not return me when I failed Him.

quick Q&A concerning difficult relationship situations:

Since Hosea married someone who is immoral is this okay for me to do too? This question must be answered carefully. First, it is true you are both sinners and you both marry with sinful baggage. Still you must careful consider whom you marrying. It is good to ask the question: Am I willing to partner with them know what I know about them?

What if my spouse leaves me? Forgiveness and restoration are always the goal, but you cannot control the responses or actions of other people. Your faithfulness [1 Peter 3:1-6] and sacrificial love [Ephesians 5:25ff] will speak more than your words will ever utter. Marriage will be tough at times. God designed marriage to you holy, not just happy.

What if my spouse my relationship is abusive and unsafe? Get help. Call your pastor, but if you are in immediate danger call the police. Separation from your spouse for a time is appropriate they can submit to self-control. I found this message, Living with an Angry Spouse, by Ed Welch very helpful.

Additional Resources to Prepare for the Marriage Relationship:

Should We Get Married? [William Smith]

Questions to ask before you Get Engaged [Sojourn Counseling]

The Mystery of Marriage [James Hamilton Jr.]

walking in true love

Posted in Ephesians, love, sinTagged , , , , , , 3 Comments

Have you ever seen a blueprint? In college, I worked in the corporate office of a West Virginia coal mine. Part of my job was delivering blueprints from the engineers to the contractors. A skilled engineer draws a blueprint or builds a prototype, which shows in great detail what the design is to look like. In order for the building to look like it is intended the builders must follow the pattern laid out in the blueprint.

The prototype of walking in love is Jesus Christ [Ephesians 5:1-2]

When it comes to walking with God, Jesus is the blueprint and prototype for how you are to walk. Ephesians 5:1-2 says, “be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” A faithful follower of Christ will imitate Christ, like a carbon copy of the original blueprint.[1]

The illustration given for imitating God is a child. Paul commands followers to “be imitators of God, as beloved children.” What can we learn from children about imitating? Children are natural imitators. Children mimic their parent’s words [what they hear] and actions [what they see]. God knows you are wired to imitate from the womb. Therefore, as a child adopted into the family of God imitate your Father [cf. 1:5; Romans 5:5].

The goal of imitating God is Christlike love, “walk in love as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us.” What is your definition of God’s love? What do you learn about love from the example of Christ? Christ’s love—true love—is built on sacrifice.[2] He loves sinful people because He has a perfect, sacrificial, and unconditional love [cf. 4:32]. He became the substitute sacrifice for your sins, which is the ultimate demonstration of love. He did not do this because you deserved it; rather sin deserves is death. He loves sacrificially and freely because that is who He is.

It is impossible to imitate God in everything, but you can imitate God by walking in Christlike love. Continual conformity to Christ is the journey of a Christ follower and love is your chief mark of Christlikeness. Christlike love motivates you to live holy, which means your thinking, attitude and behavior is characterized by Christlikeness [cf. Galatians 2:20].[3]

Paul will now contrast walking in the love of Christ with walking in the way of the world [vs.3-4]. We live in a world so willing to share their love with things that do not satisfy. What do people love other than God?

The antitype of walking in love is sexual immorality [Ephesians 5:3-4]

How is walking sexual sin the opposite of walking in Christlike love? Sexual sin loves secret self-indulgence, while Christlike love is openly self-sacrificing. Sexual sin seeks to share the altar with God, but in most cases it dethrones Him from His high place. In the Ephesians 5:3-4, Paul shares how love of sexual sin takes many forms.

3 forms of physical immorality [v.3] Biblical Definition Biblical Replacement
Fornication, 

Sexual Immorality

 Any kind of sexually related sin [pornea]—pornography, masturbation, adultery, etc. [1 Corinthians 6:18; Jude 7; 1 Thessalonians 4:3]. Wait for sex until marriage [1 Corinthians 6:12-20; 7:2]; run from any sexual immorality [1 Corinthians 6:18]
Uncleanness, Impurity Moral impurity; sexual thinking; lust [Leviticus 11-12; Matthew 23:25-26; Hebrews 1:3; James 1:27; 4:8]. Purity of Heart; holiness [1 Thessalonians 4:3-8]
Covetousness Greed; inward desire to acquire what you cannot have [Luke 12:15; Matthew 6:24; 2 Peter 2:3; Colossians 3:5] Contentment [Philippians 4:12-13]; do not covet another man’s wife [Exodus 20]

All forms of physical immorality are a serious cancer to your soul. So serious they “must not even be named” among God’s people [cf. 5:12].[4] It is not that you should not talk about these sins, but you must be careful to not create an atmosphere that tolerates these sins. You cannot avoid living in a world where these sorts of sins are become less shameful and less secretive. Although they are common that does not give you an excuse to indulge. Sexual immorality is not only in a physical form, but it also can be in a verbal form:

3 forms of verbal immorality [v.4] Biblical Definition Biblical Replacement
Filthy language, obscenity Sexually degrading; obscene talk; shameless; disgraceful; dirty talk Build up and encourage one another to follow Christ [4:29; Colossians 3:5-17]. Put on thankfulness. “What comes out of your mouth or what you laugh at reveals your heart” [Matthew 15:18].
Foolish talk Stupid words; silliness; childish; moronic
Crude joking, 

course joking

 Verbal immorality; vulgar; perverse; buffoonery; sexual innuendo

Verbal immorality is not just for dirty old men. Turn on your TV or listening to the Billboard Top 25 songs and you will see that dirty sexy talk sells. Dirty language is common and cheap, but it must not be the talk of followers of Christ. Sure Jesus hung out with dirty rotten sins, but He never stooped to their potty mouth language or laughed at their dirty jokes.

The remedy for immorality is thanksgiving.  How can thankfulness help remedy immorality? While immorality is self-centeredness [cf. Romans 1:21], thanksgiving is Christ-centeredness. Thanksgiving is rooted in a radically different heart, which understands it is does not deserve God’s grace. Thanksgiving—being content in Christlikeness—is the antidote for all immorality. What happens if a person continues to walk in sexual immorality?

The consequence of walking in sexual immorality is hell [Ephesians 5:5]

A person who walks in sexual immorality often describes it as living hell. Sexual sin is like working under the whip of a ruthless slave master. Walking in immorality not only feels like hell, but also it will pave your road to hell, “Everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.” [v.5]

Drinking from the well of sexual sin never satisfies. The hurt and hopelessness left in the wake of sexual sin can be horrendous and handicapping. Sexual sin is like poison ivy with an all-consuming itch. The more you scratch the infected area the more you itch and the more it spreads. Sexual sin will poison you to death.

The consequences of continuing a life of immorality are serious and sobering, now [in this life] and later [in eternity]. First, those who are steeped in these sins are habitually involved as a pattern of life [cf. Hebrews 12:14]. A follower of Christ cannot walk this way for long without the Holy Spirit bringing about conviction sin and change of life. Second, immorality, impurity and greed are summed up as “Idolatry”.

How is immorality the same as worshipping a false god? Idolatry is when you love something more than God. An idol is more than a carved image; it is a God-substitute. Are you grasping onto an immoral idol? The Bible is clear—idols must be demolished.

Follower of Christ, you are called to be alive to Christ and actively loving Him. Know everyday is a battle for the mind. Your battle is between active love for the world and passive love God will come to a head—choose whom you will love. If you love the world more than Christ you have allowed the world to rob, rape and exploit your love. Think of loving the world like sleeping with the enemy. Immorality is always risky; therefore, pursue purity because it is always safe. A.W. Tozer said,

“Men think of the world not as a battleground but as a playground. We are not here to fight, we are here to frolic. We are not in a foreign land, we are at home. We are not getting ready to live, we are already living, and the best we can do is rid ourselves of our inhibitions and our frustrations and live this life to the full.”

How can I fight the temptations of sexual immorality? First, draw a line in the sand. Commit to God, “I will never put myself in situation where I will be tempted to fall into sin.” Second, put off old sinful ways and put on walking in Christlikeness. Make this your biblical battle plan. Third, maintain accountability. Keep clear guardrails and safety nets that together help you avoid your temptations. Fourth, consider the cost of your commitment to Christ. Reputation takes a lifetime to build, but a moment to destroy.

[1] Imitation is a theme in Paul’s letters: 1 Corinthians 4:16; 10:31-11:1; Philippians 3:17; 1 Thessalonians 1:6; 2 Thessalonians 3:7-9.

[2] cf. Leviticus 1:17; Isaiah 53:10; 2 Corinthians 2:15-16; Philippians 4:18.

[3] A thread about living a life of love appears a lot in Ephesians: 4:2; 15-16; 5:2. 25, 28, 33; 6:24

[4] Saints = believers, holy ones.

what about sex before marriage?

Posted in love, marriage, questions, relationshipsTagged , , , , , 4 Comments

Imagine a world without standards or limits: no traffic laws, no standards for society, or no code of conduct. There would be chaos. There are limits, governing rules, morals of right and wrong, and standards of living for the purpose of our protection. Rules are to be abided by not broken or bent. The speed limit law is not a simple suggestion and codes of conduct are not recommendations—they are requirements. Just as there are standards and rules to adhere in our country, so there are standards God gives towards our relationships.

Thus far we have discussed two of God’s standards for relationships. First, both partners must be faithful follower committed to Jesus Christ [2 Corinthians 6:14-16]. Second, marriage is a picture of a divine and permanent relationship [Ephesians 5:25-28]. Today we will discover a third standard God has set for marriage: sexual intimacy is for the marriage bed only.

Waiting to have sex until marriage is certainly not a popular message in our world today. Sex education classes promote safe sex and condom usage. TV shows and media, flaunt sexuality outside of marriage as normal. The idea of waiting until marriage to have sex is passé and seems to spoils the fun. Has chivalry gone out of style along with chastity belts? How do we reconcile God’s speed limit to wait on sex until marriage?

The Bible has three commands concerning sex [Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8]. First, do not give yourself to adultery—having sex with anyone other than your spouse. Second, do not give yourself to fornication—having premarital sex, even with someone you intend to marry. Third, do not give yourself to sexual immorality [Grk: porneia]—having sexually stimulating activities [i.e. pornography, oral sex, masturbation, sex-ting, flirting, etc.] outside of marriage or in marriage with someone who is not your spouse [cf. Matthew 5:27-28; Proverbs 6:27-28].

sinful reasons to have sex before marriage [1 Corinthians 6:12-14]

There are many reasons people justify breaking the limits God sets on sexuality before marriage. Paul says something very wise in 1 Corinthians 6:12, “All things are lawful for me, but not all thing are helpful.” In other words, sex might seem ok, but is it really going to help the situation? Here is some common reasons people sin in order to have sex outside of marriage:

“We love each other.” Many people have equated love with sex. Love does not equal sex; rather it is the gift of committed love. Real love does not tempt one another to sin. Real love is willing to wait and commit.

“We need to see if we are sexually compatible.” The plea for compatibility seems good, but compatibility is not tested—it is learned. You can be compatible with anyone. Test-driving is meant for cars not relationships. 70% of women who test drive are seeking a long-term relationship [i.e. manipulation]. 90% of men who test drive are seeking a short-term solution for their sex drive [i.e. self-gratification]. Sex is not a reliable test for compatibility.

“Everyone is doing it. How could it be wrong if it feels so good?” Let the truth be known: not everyone is. Even if everyone was that does not make it right. Many people do choose to wait. Peer pressure and cultural acceptance are not always right. People who have sex before marriage have a far higher divorce rates, feelings of insecurity within marriage, and greater chance of unplanned pregnancy or STD’s.

“We do not have the same values as you, so stop making us feel guilty.” This is especially true in an age of tolerance, which says “Don’t push your agenda’s on me. You can believe what you want but let me believe what I want.” However, the value of waiting for sex until marriage is not meant to pour on guilt or showcase a man-made value, rather it is God’s value for your good and His glory. He is the one who created you and created marriage. He even created sex. All with their purpose and place.

Sex within marriage might seem to be helpful for fitting into culture, finding compatibility or fulfilling love, but this is not the way God intended intimacy to happen. Two questions to ask: Is it helpful? Is it enslaving? [v.12] When we bend or break the rules this leads to chaos [vs.13-14]. Disobedience brings danger like jumping the guardrails hugging a cliff.

God’s reason to save sex for marriage [1 Corinthians 6:15-20]

God gives one reason to wait. He knows how sex is multi-dimensional—physical, emotional, and spiritual—but when two people have sex they become “one flesh.” [v.16] Even within causal sexual flings this occurs. Sex creates a miraculous bond between two people. Sex is superglue that keeps two together. God did not intend for “one flesh” to be shared, except with the one person you are faithfully committed to in marriage.

Paul bases his sexual purity on his identity in Christ. First, if you are in Christ you are a “servant of Christ” [v.12]. Christ has freed you from the bondage of sin and you are at liberty to choose what is right [cf. Romans 6:1-14]. Second, you are an “eternal being” [v.14]. This world is not all there is. The joy of sex does not compare with the joy of being with Christ. Third, you are “one with Christ” [vs.15, 17]. Followers are married to Christ. Remember, marriage pictures a divine union between Christ and His church [cf. Ephesians 5:25ff]. Finally, you are the “property of Christ” [vs.19-20]. God owns you. You are bought and paid for by the blood of Christ.

Sex is a gift from God. It is something that He created as “good.” [Genesis 1:31] Sex is great in so many ways–relationally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Sex is a gift that is greatest when waited for within the marriage relationship. When we abuse or misuse what God created by using it our way rather than His way it complicates our relationship rather than compliment.

Sexual immorality not only affects your relationship with the other person [vs. 17-18; i.e. Psalm 51:4; 66:18], but it primarily affects your relationship with God. Sin creates a roadblock between you and God. You can try all sorts of things to get rid of the roadblock, but until you deal with the sin and commit to change it will be a barrier that you will not be able to budge. Give your sexuality to God and commit to His standard for relationships. It is for your good and God’s glory [v.19-20]. Purity is the greatest gift you can give yourself and your future spouse.

quick Q&A concerning sex:

What happens if you already had sex before marriage? Can I be forgiven? Yes. Repent and restore [1 John 1:8-10]. Recommit to purity and saving sex for marriage. I have a good friend had a sexual relationship in high school, the gal got pregnant. He lived with the guilt of his sin for years. He later tasted the forgiveness of God and recommitted to God and is being used of God in mighty ways. He is now married with beautiful children. God is faithful to forgive. Be faithful to seek His forgiveness through repentance and restoration.

Is sex in marriage really better than sex outside of marriage? You bet. Being pure is always better than settling for second best. Think of how much better it is to drink mountain spring water versus drinking from a sewer pipe. Purity satisfies completely, while sinfulness leaves you empty craving more [Jeremiah 2:13].

How can I fight the temptation of sexual immorality? Toying with your sexual desires is like a pyromaniac playing with fire. Feeding the fire of desire does not calm the temptation; it only intensifies it. You will get burned [James 1:14-15]. Pushing the limits is dangerous. Basing decisions based on feelings of right and wrong can be just as dangerous. Sex feels good, but it was never meant to fulfill what only God can. Sex was never meant to be worshiped [Romans 1:18-27; Ephesians 5:3-7].

Here are some helpful ways to fight the temptation to give into sexual immorality: First, commit to obey God. Second, learn from the Word the joy of waiting. Third, be accountable to God and a strong Christ-follower. Finally, create and implement a battle plan [purity contract]—do not touch [1 Corinthians 7:1], do not look [Matthew 5:28; Job 31:1], and do not be alone [cf. Genesis 39]. Purity never happens by accident. Make a plan to fight for it.

Great Resources to Check out:

Sex Before Marriage: How Far is Too Far? [Timothy Lane]

Guidelines for Sexual Purity [Randy Alcorn]

Sex and the Supremacy of Christ [John Piper]

why preparing for marriage matters?

Posted in love, marriage, questions, relationshipsTagged , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

Have you ever had a really difficult time picking out a new pair of shoes? It can take me months before I find the right shoe I will wear. Maybe I am just picky.  It is important for shoes to have the right blend of comfort, style, and functionality. You can’t go wrong with a pair of Chuck Taylor’s. They are classy and timeless.

Shoe shopping is a lot like finding the right relationship. It is not bad to have standards when it comes to relationships. We looked at last week God has a high standard for relationships—both partners must be faithful followers committed to Jesus Christ [2 Corinthians 6:14-16]. Finding the right relationship can be difficult. Looking at a potential relationship can be like looking at a box of Crayola Crayons and thinking, which color do I choose?

Most men and women dream of the day they will whisk away their wife or marry their hunky husband, and grow old together. I marvel at my Grandparents who stayed married for over 50 years and still call each other best friends. Marriage is a relationship most long to be in, yet most do not prepare to endure. It is said that every date is a potential mate. Learn to look at all your relationships with the opposite sex as a potential husband or wife. Better yet view them as God’s creation and your brother or sister in Christ. Many come into marriage with sinful expectations.

sinful views of marriage [or any relationship for that matter]:

Marriage makes all my problems go away. Many think that marriage is the cure-all for sexual temptations, the need for compatible companionship, or desire for happiness and lure of romance. If this is your expectation for relationships you will be severely disappointed. Marriage can certainly help, but it is not the means to an end.

Marriage raises my social status. Do you view singleness as a curse? Do you feel pressured to be in a relationship and weird because you are not? Are convents and monasteries for people unfortunate not to find the love of their life? If you marry just to raise your relational resume you will marry for all the wrong reasons.

These are false assumptions many marriages and relationships are built upon but quickly crumble. More than half of all marriages fail. Even marriages within the church crash and burn alongside these startling statistics. There are many reasons why these statistics stand, but how can they keep from falling? Who wants to get married when so many seem to peter out? Is there hope for a healthy home or romantic relationship?

biblical views of marriage and why it matters:

Marriage is a picture of a divine relationship [Ephesians 5:25-28]. Every relationship—particularly marriage—is an opportunity to model Christ’s love. This is God’s goal for marriage. What does a loving relationship look like? It looks like Christ’s sacrificial love for His church. What came first Christ and the church or man and women? This is not like a chicken or egg question, since it is fairly obvious. Marriage came first [Genesis 2:22-24], and it pictures the church’s eternal relationship with Christ [Revelation 19:7].

Marriage is a permanent relationship. It is not as disposable as people make it out to be in our day. There is a miracle in marriage that two people become one flesh forever. This is why God looks down on divorce. In fact, God says He hates divorce [Malachi 2:15-16]. Now I am a product of multiple divorces. Divorce is always difficult. It affects so many, but it primarily affects the couple. Divorce does not erase the oneness of marriage. It is like ripping apart two pieces of metal welded together. It hurts the metal and will leave pieces of one another with each other.

dealing with the wear and tear on relationships

Like shoes, relationships take on wear. So what must be done? Get a new pair? This is not so easy when it comes to relationships. Relationships take a lot of work to keep clean because they are two selfish sinners. So what is a couple to do? Clean up and restore the shine. Couples must become like mechanics looking under the hood of a used car determining what needs to get fixed. How can I inspect the danger signs of relationships? Here are some great questions to ask:

First, who’s in the drivers seat? In other words, check under the hood of their heart to see what is pushing their gas. The heart is a persons control center. In order to peer into the heart you might ask: Are you committed to your relationship with God? Do you love the Word of God and live by it? Are your knees worn out? Do you love the church? Then it is good to watch if their walk matches their talk. If not, run. If they yes, you have the making of a good match.

Second, what’s in your trunk? The trunk is where the baggage lays. Usually baggage is sins you struggle with and carry with you everyday. Baggage is not a reason to not date someone. Everyone has baggage because they are selfish sinners. Yet you need to ask yourself, “Am I willing to love this person and live with them knowing what I know?” Baggage can be dealt with and overcome, but it will take a lot of work over a long period of time only by applying what we know from the Word of God [Matthew 7:24-27].

What’s your track record? Last week, I mentioned the way someone communicates and deals with conflict with their parents is how they will deal with it with you. People model their parents. The majority of problems in relationships are because of a history of not dealing with conflict biblically or communicating unbiblically as a family. Conflict in relationships is guaranteed [1 Corinthians 7:28]. It is not a matter of if but when. When you have conflict how do you deal with it?

Marriage matters, therefore, your current relationships matter as a pattern for your future relationships. If we create sinful habits before we get into our relationships it will be difficult to change that after we get into our relationships. Thus have a biblical perspective of relationships. See them as a picture of God’s long lasting love. Be prepared in your relationships by cultivating a solid friendship that asks questions to inspect one another’s heart.

quick Q&A concerning dating, singleness, divorce and remarriage:

Dating today does not an effect way of determining a future mate. Is dating defecting? Is there a better way? Modern dating does have many deficiencies:[1]

  1. Dating skips the friendship stage of the relationship.
  2. Dating often mistakes the physical relationship for love. Infatuation is not intimacy. Sex does not equal love.
  3. Dating often isolates you from other vital relationships [friends, parents, teachers, pastors, etc.] making the one you are dating an idol.
  4. Dating can distract you from preparing for the future. You need to prepare for marriage.
  5. Dating can discourage you from God’s gift of singleness.
  6. Dating can create an artificial environment to evaluate another’s character.
  7. Dating becomes and end in itself. It becomes a game and a means of control with no checks and balances.

A better alternative to dating is courtship. Why choose courtship over dating? Courtship chooses: solid friendship, purity, wise counsel [of parents and mentors], preparation [for permanent relationship], contentment with singleness, cultivation of godly character, and bridges true friendship with marriage. Courtship is the best move towards a marriage relationship in our day because it sets the relationship standard higher. Don’t pursue a romantic relationship until your ready for love.

What about singleness? Is singleness for more than nuns and priest? 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 and 17-40 describes singleness is a gift from God and a good thing. In fact, most of the New Testament writers were single, including Paul and Jesus [Matthew 19:11-12]. A single has the freedom to devote their relationship entirely to God. Singleness for the short-term or long-term can have a lot of benefits on your spiritual walk with God. I was single for about 3 years before I began a relationship with Sarah and I would not trade away those years.

For more information on living as a godly single check out The Rich Single Life.

Is there no room for divorce and remarriage in God’s plan? There are legal divorces that Jesus considers illegitimate [Matthew 19:1-9]. There are commands that call couples to reconcile rather than remarry [1 Corinthians 7:10-11]. And there are broken relationships that God gives freedom for remarriage [Matthew 5:31-32; Romans 7:2-3; 1 Corinthians 7:12-16, 39]. Each relationship is different, therefore, it is wise to search the Scriptures to understand what God has to say about divorce and remarriage according to the state of your situation.

A great resource to check out on the permanency of marriage is: The Momentary Marriage by John Piper

[1] Adapted from I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris [Multnomah Publisher, Sisters, OR. 2003, 38-46]

who’s in your driver’s seat?

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The first two cars I owned were hand-me-downs. When I was 16, I bought the 1987 Dodge Daytona from my stepmother for $500. She lasted about 6 months before she gave up the ghost. My second car I bought while in college—a 1989 Chevy Corsica from my grandmother. She was a fairly reliable 4-door sedan. I named her Angus, mostly because she was black and I wanted her to have a bold name for the complex I had while driving her.

Angus had issues. First, my door got stuck. I felt like one of the Duke brothers climbing through the window of the General Lee to get into my car. Second, the ignition broke, so I had a buddy hotwire a toggle switch to help start the car without a key. I was embarrassed to take dates in this car because I never knew what would happen next. On one occasion I took a gal out for dinner and it started raining really hard. I turned on the wipers to full blast and they rocketed off the windshield never to be found. I spent the rest of the ride with my head out of the window like a panting dog to see where we were going. Nothing like that to dampen your date!

I did upgrade to nicer cars, but never really got the car of my dreams. If you could have any car what would you drive? Many people desire the German BMW or Mercedes, while others adore the Italian Lamborghini, Ferrari or Bugatti Veyron. I would settle for a Ford Mustang Shelby. I often daydream about what it would be like to drive one of these hot wheels around town, feeling the roar of the engine; proud of wow-factor I get from people I zoom past.

Have ever realized how much cars and relationships have in common? The next few weeks I will share a series on dating and relationships. We are going to approach this topic from the biblical standpoint. You might be thinking, “I know what the Bible says about relationships, it’s so old fashion and culturally irrelevant.” Stay tuned. You might be pleasantly surprised how practical and helpful the Bible is when it speaks about relationships with the opposite sex.

you get what you pay for

There are two ways to look at buying a car: either you get something really cheap that quickly breaks down or you get something nice that will last you a lifetime. There is no middle of the road. When it comes to relationships, God is in it for the long haul for “nothing can separate us from the love of God” [cf. Ephesians 3:17-19, Romans 8:35-39, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7]. He has put the miles in for you and He expects you to go the distance with those you committed.

Jesus says marriage—the chief earthly relationship—is a visual illustration to the world of Jesus’ commitment to the church [Ephesians 5:25ff]. Never will He abuse, neglect or separate Himself from His Bride. The love binding together Christ and the church is eternal. He has a covenant relationship with His followers built on sacrificial love for His followers. Relationships are no small matter or a place for shallow commitment.

Do not settle for anything less than the best. What is the best when it comes to relationships? God says the best is for both partners to be committed followers of Christ. In 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, believers are commanded to set their relationship standards high, “Do not be yoked with unbelievers.” To understand this verse you must learn from the farmer. Back in the day, farmers used oxen to plow their fields. They would match up two animals that were similar in size and strength to get straight rows. A smart farmer would never match up a goat and Clydesdale, or wild stallion with an old donkey. If so he would simply spin in circles getting nowhere. Do you see the illustration God gives to us about relationships? A believer and non-believer pull each other in opposite directions, in fact, the relationship will spin in spiritual circles if both parties are not committed to Christ.

beware of lemons

Beware of the dodgy deals from the used car lot. In other words, be careful of the worldly messages you hear and see on TV, Internet, or romance novels. The message is of compromise not commitment, “Dating is just for fun and sex.” Also, be careful of ungodly advice from friends who are sinful sympathizers. His or her message is listen to yourself not your God, “You should be with someone who makes you happy or makes you feel fulfilled.”  Lemons are sour deals that as you think back on them you regrettably know you have bought into a lie and you should have been cautious enough to search under the hood of that person’s heart before you signed the paperwork. Here are common lies and excuses about dating a non-believer:

“He or she is really nice person and is very good to me.” This is admirable and chivalrous. Some non-believers truly have better character than believers. However, if they are not in Christ their motives in the relationship are always selfish. Use your friendship as a God given opportunity to share with them the gospel. Let them know that Christ wants to reconcile an eternal relationship with them.

“Don’t worry, I will share my faith inside our relationship.” Missionary dating is sin. You have already compromised the relationship. How can you tell your partner to obey God when you are not being obedient to God by dating them? It is never God’s will to sin, even if it feels so good and right.

“If God was loving He would let me date who I want.” Remember, God is the standard. What He commands is for my good and His glory. God is not being cruel when He commands you to date believers and steer away from non-believers. He is protecting your heart. Take the time to read the story of Sampson [Judges 13-16] and Solomon [1 Kings 1-11]. You see how quickly love blinds their hearts from their God to the idols of their women. God warns about inter-spiritual relationships because He knows how distracting and spiritually detrimental they are for both parties.

In order to prevent yourself from getting a lemon you need to do some research into the person you want to partner. When buying a car you will get an inspection from the mechanic, check under the hood yourself, or go to carfacts.com to see the specks and history of the car. When it comes to our relationships we must go to the Word of God. The Bible says by their fruit you will know the kind of person they are [Matthew 7:16-17; John 15:8; Galatians 5:22-23].

How can you see someone’s fruit? See how they handle conflict [Proverbs 9:8-9], probe their passions, and ask x-ray questions: First, who is driving your life? If they give you a shallow answer or they are offended you asked this should be a red flag. Second, what is your relationship like with your mom and dad? You can tell a lot about how someone will treat you by the way they treat or speak to their parents. Third, are you involved at church? If they are serving others and loving the church this gives you a seek peak at their passions and priorities [cf. Philippians 2:4]. These are not fail proof questions since people can put up good fronts or change, but they are a starting point. [Note: more on danger signs for relationships next week].

no more backseat driving

Backseat drivers are annoying. They whisper or wail in your ear what they think you need to be doing. They are never satisfied and always complaining about your driving style. Are you a backseat driver to God? Do you say to Him things like, “Stop telling me how to run my relationships,” “Can you get going already? I am tired of waiting for the right guy or gal to come along,” Now if I were God I would be like the parent who says, “If you do not stop it right now I am going to pull this car over and give you something to think about!” Good thing I am not God, but if you say that God is in your driver’s seat let Him drive.

quick Q&A about concerning biblical relationships

Just because someone is a Christian does that mean I should date them even if I do not like him or her? What if never meet a Christian that I am attracted to? Waiting is never a bad option. In fact, while you wait, your primary relationship—between you and God—can be growing some great fruit. Also, pray to God asking Him to provide you a partner that will love God more than you.

What if you are in a relationship that you are convinced is second best? Repent and respond by doing the right thing. Speak honestly with your partner and break off the relationship until you are both faithfully committed to Christ.

How can you tell who is behind the wheel when it comes to your other relationships? Here are some helpful tips:

  1. Surround yourself a great examples of faithful followers who have done it right. Take good notes.
  2. Learn from the examples of failed relationship. Don’t let history repeat itself.
  3. Keep accountable to someone wise while dating. Ask them to assess your relationships often with objectiveness.
  4. Listen to the advice of your parents and heed the warnings of the Word of God.

10 Memorable Dates

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Each Friday Sarah and I religiously have a Date Night. I am sure when baby Hutts comes along we will have to be more creative and diligent to keep this as a weekly or bi-monthly tradition. Here are some of my most memorable dates-to-date with my gorgeous wife:

Beauty Mountain. It is what it is–beauty. There is nothing like lush West Virginian foliage, sheer cliffs, with a roaring river hundreds of feet below. We could just lay in the sun for hours watching the turkey vultures soar above, listen to the wind in the trees, and meditate upon the goodness of God.

France Park. It’s not in France, but in the middle of Indiana. There is more than corn in Indiana. This park is a novelty with its unique paddle fish as big as a human swimming patiently in the clear quarry. There are some great trails to get lost on. This is the place we first held hands. Also, I think we both cried with joy.

Philly People Watching. South Street Philly is quite the place, enough said. It is a place you can get a yummy cheese steak, funky new hat, and lovely wooden fish migrated from Jamaica in an overpriced store that smell like something illegal.

Dollar Date. This is fun. Give each other a buck and an hour to spend it at the mall. The goal is to buy a gift for each other. I got Sarah some groovy knick-knacks from the clearance area of the candy store and she got me a skin tight shirt with lip-kisses all over it. A quick pic in the photobooth and it’s an unforgettable night.

Plant a Tree. On a sunny day last fall we got-green. We dug up maple tree saplings from a friends wooded lot and replanted them in our yard. To this day all eight of the trees are still living. I suppose it’s because Sarah prayed diligently over each one.

Canoeing down the Creek. This is a favorite. We love to paddle down the Wildcat Creek in the fall. The colors of the leaves, coolness of the breeze, and poison ivy. Yes, I was itchy for weeks, but it was a wonderful reminder of a great day on our floating picnic.

Library Date. It’s cheap and smart. We make rounds to the various libraries in town and exchange interesting factoids with one another. You can also rent old movies that you forgot existed. Sometimes you can even walk away with really cool books that are free.

Build your Own Pizza. Yummy for the tummy and good for a day when the weather is crummy. You can both have pizza your way: Sarah has her side with veggies and I have mine with meat. There is nothing better than homemade pizza, a good movie, and a blanket to cuddle under.

Patch the Pigs. Sarah and I like art. We took some old Clorox Bleach bottles and decorated them with scraps of fabric. Quite crafty. The pigs turned out to look like colorful quilts. It was a great way to turn trash into a treasure.

A Kiss to Build a Dream On. The first time I kissed Sarah was the day of our engagement at the Tippecanoe Battlefield. Of course this is a day no man can forget. What lovely lips my lady has!

Bonus Date: Dumbo Do-Do

Footage is Coming Soon

lessons learned from my first year of marriage

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1. Marriage is sanctifying. God has used Sarah in many wonderful ways to chisel away at my insensitive parts and sinful flaws. Marriage has been molding me a like a clay model muddied and re-imaged by the Masters hands into the image of Christ [1 Peter 3:1-7].

2. Deal with conflict ASAP. By dealing with anger and communicating clearly as soon as possible resolution and restoration come quickly.

3. Create healthy and happenin’ habits:

  • Every week have a date night. Turn the phones off. Guard with care.
  • Have weekly sabbath rest.
  • Pray together daily.
  • Keep in contact with good friends.

4. Shoot for a forever honeymoon. Before marriage we got good advice, “If you live in obedience to Christ you will have a forever honeymoon.”

5. Remember your first love. Sarah and I love God first. There are times when we are jealous [in a good way] of our love for God. Only God is truly faithful [Psalm 145:7].

6. Laugh at yourself and each other. We make a habit of watching America’s Funniest Videos each morning before heading out the door. Laughing together helps you stick together.

7. Build something together. This year we have grown a garden and done some fun art projects together. The illustration of building fits the picture of a growing marriage.

8. Do something you don’t like. I hate doing the dishes, but they got to get done. I find the most loving thing I can do is do the dishes with my delightful wife.

9. Talk-walks. We take weekly walks in the parks, through the neighborhood or downtown. Not only is it fresh air and fitness, but great times to talk together.

10. Pray, pray, and pray some more. I have a hard time talking to God if I am having a hard time talking to Sarah. Prayer is our most intimate moments within marriage [thanks to the words of wisdom in Bob & Elva Jean Lilly].

speak forgiveness

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Have you ever said anything that you regretted? This week, instead of saying the word song or tong, I said the word thong both in very awkward church related settings. When I refer to regretful words I am not speaking of embarrassing moments but to purposeful things you say that are hurtful and harmful to others.

In 5th Grade I was riding home from school on the bus. Behind me there was a classmate who was making fun of me by saying things that were rude and crude. I had enough and there was a decision to be made: turn the other cheek or wipe the smirk off his cheek. I chose the later. I charged back there and started wailing on him. The bus driver slammed on the breaks. I flew forward. The bus driver rushed to the back of the bus and grabbed us both by our shirts and ushered us up to the front of the bus. We didn’t make it to our homes that day; instead, we waited for our parents at the bus barn. My mother was not a happy camper.

When someone offends us we want to hold onto the hurt and anger. Or we want to pursue payback, seek revenge and retribution. Unforgiveness is controlling. When we choose to not forgive we put the perpetrator in the drivers seat and say in a sense, “You are in control, you call the shots.” Unforgiveness is like a dog leash and its master is the one who has offended you.

God knows that we struggle with forgiving and being forgiven. That is why He has given us His Bible. He communicates with us and gives us an example of how to communicate with others. He knows it is our mouths that get us into the most trouble. He builds a bridge and gives us the means to get over it. Let’s look at four fascinating truths God gives on how to be forgivers and godly communicators. If we seek to live by these it will save us from a lot of conflict.

1. Speak the Truth [4:25]. Unforgiving people love to latch onto lies. People who do not put off falsehoods will tend to say things like, “You always ____. You never _____. Every time I ____, you _____.” Rather than speaking in absolutes; gather the facts, never assume anything always ask for what is true [cf. 1 Cor.2:11; Phil 2:1-3]. Speak the truth in love to build up, not to break down [cf. 1 Cor.13:1-3; Eph.4:15]. Do not burn your bridges, rather seek to build them back.

2. Solve Today’s Situations Today [4:26-28]. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger because you more than likely will not deal with it. Not dealing with it is not dealing with it. We tend to hold off on dealing with confrontation or forgiveness until a better day when it feels right or the timing is right. But digging up the past should be left to archeologists and projecting on the future is for prophets. Adding time to anger multiplies the problem. Unresolved unforgiveness or anger leads to bitterness. Deal with your situations today by keeping current.

Here are some good questions to ask before you speak:

  • Do I have my facts right? Proverbs 18:13
  • Should love hide this? [i.e. Is it “sinful” or preferential?] 1 Peter 4:8,
  • Is my timing right?  Proverbs 15:23
  • Is my attitude right?  Ephesians 4:15
  • Are my words loving?  Ephesians 4:15
  • Have I prayed for help?  Proverbs 3:5

3. Slay the Problem not the Person [4:29-30]. Words pierce people to their core. Words can bring life or kill [Proverbs 18:21, cf. Mt.5:21-26]. Corrupting talk is when you your words, statements and tone to disintegrate others. We can be champions at putting other people down. Like Goliath we have a big mouth that gets us into trouble. David let God do the fighting for him.

Hurtful, harmful and hateful words do not only grieve the offended, but also God. Do you know why? Each and every person was made in the likeness and image of God. When we break apart peoples character it tarnishes the very God who created them. Corrupting talk does not help the situation, however, edifying words search for a solution [cf. Eph.4:15; Col.4:5-6].

4. Step ahead, don’t step back [4:31-32]. Be proactive in your speech rather than reactive. In other words, act—don’t react. We have a tendency to justify our primary sin with a secondary sin [i.e. Gen.3:8-13]. When someone offends us and we fire back in anger, wrath, bitterness, and slander we are letting them get the upper hand. God says as followers of Christ we are to step it up by putting on the character and communication of Christ.

When Jesus was ushered to His death sentence as an innocent man He never defended Himself. It is not the He was a weenie or wimp, or that He was too cowardly to stand up to His accusers. In fact, He was more courageous because He did not retaliate. He let God do the fighting for Him. In the midst of unfair and unforgettable circumstances He remained kind, compassionate and forgiving [i.e. Is.53:4-12].

Years later after the school bus brawl I had a similar situation occur. Somebody was accusing me a things that were false, slandering my character, spreading lies and gossip. Instead of heading over to their house and letting them have it, I quietly confronted them in love and grace. In time, God did the fighting for me and I did not have to do anything to prove myself. I extended forgiveness to the offender and treated them as it never happened. Do you know what happened? The kindness of the God had taught me, and the forgiveness that God had given to me was used as an instrument of brokenness in this person’s life. Forgiveness is a mighty weapon of restoration in the hands of God [Romans 12:21].

The way you communicate and extend forgiveness to others reveals your relationship with God [Luke 6:45].

carving faces

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In America, we have weird traditions like carving faces into pumpkins. It is something I have always done since a kid. I am not sure I know where it came from in history, but I am sure if I did know I would would be so interested in carving pumpkins anymore. Sarah and I spent a date night de-gutting, carving and lighting our pumpkins. We had fun.

marriage is sanctifying

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A friend recently asked me, “What are you learning now that you’re married?” Without hesitation the first thought that came to my mind, “I am very selfish.” It hasn’t taken long for me to realize how selfish I am. Marriage has a good way of purifying you from selfishness and pride. Marriage is sanctifying.

Another friend who has been married for 3 years said to me that the process of dealing with pride doesn’t get any easier with time. Note this sometimes true-to-life chronology of thought within marriage:

  • 1st year of marriage: “I am so selfish. Would you forgive me?”
  • 2nd year of marriage: “I know I’m selfish, but I have rights you know!”
  • 3rd year of marriage: “Sure I am selfish. Who do you think you are?”

I hope that I continue to be a man that is willing to swallow my pride and love my wife. A wise man once said, If you remain obedient to God you will always be on your honeymoon.

iResolve

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This weekend I will being marrying the woman I love. A lady at church said that I am glowing like a bride to be. I wasn’t sure how to take that, but I assume it was a compliment. As I consider marriage I am eager to love my wife. Over the past few months I have made a series of resolves that I desire to uphold in our marriage:

I resolve to love God first and you.
I resolve to pursue His covenant relationship as a model for our covenant relationship.
I resolve to love you only and no other woman.
I resolve to love you with Gods interests in mind.
I resolve to love you not in a way that is for my own gain.
I resolve to seek the example of God in helping me to love you.
I resolve to lead you as Christ leads me.
I resolve to do my best to listen carefully to every word that is spoken from your lips.
I resolve to not hang up on you or walk away in anger.
I resolve to consult with you on all major decisions that affect both of us.
I resolve to submit and respect authorities in my life.
I resolve to not talk negatively about you in front of other people.
I resolve to minister to you as my first priority.
I resolve to deal with conflict between us biblically and immediately.
I resolve to spend quality time with you alone each day.
I resolve to listen carefully, understand, know and study you.
I resolve to speak truthfully and honestly with you.
I resolve to not bring up what we have already sought in forgiveness.
I resolve to serve you with joy for your encouragement in Christ.
I resolve to encourage you to have other Christ-honoring friendships.
I resolve to be open with you concerning my temptations and desires.
I resolve to give myself to you and only you intimately.
I resolve to seek my greatest satisfaction in Jesus Christ.
I resolve to hold us both accountable before God’s Word.
I resolve to confront your sinfulness, but help you overcome it through Gods help.
I resolve to view your body and heart as Gods beautiful creation.
I resolve to protect you physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I resolve to trust you with all my heart.
I resolve to pursue through trials and tribulations with you.
I resolve to be willing to die with you for the sake of Christ name and glory if He so chooses.
I resolve to instill within our relationship convictions not conformity.
I resolve to pray with you often.
I resolve to worship God above all and not to make you an idol of my heart.
I resolve to give God the glory for our blessings and good gifts from God.
I resolve to show and tell you, “I love you.”

Sincerely yours,

Justin Hutts

we’re getting married

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Sarah and Justin would like to inform you about their upcoming wedding. This site will give you most the information you need to know about their special day. Please, return frequently to check for updates or announcements.

The Date is set: May the Second, Two-Thousand and Nine

The time is set: One Thirty O’clock in the Afternoon

The Location is set: Battle Ground Bible Church in West Lafayette, IN. (www.bgbc.org)

Now are you set on being there?

10 Things God Can’t Do

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  1. God can’t get tired. Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary.—Isaiah 40:28
  2. God can’t take on a job he can’t handle. Ah, Lord God! Behold, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for you.—Jeremiah 32:17
  3. God can’t be unholy. And one cried to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!”—Isaiah 6:3
  4. God can’t be prejudiced. In truth I perceive that God shows no partiality. But in every nation whoever fears him and works righteousness is accepted by him.—Acts 10:34-35
  5. God can’t break a promise. My covenant I will not break, nor alter the word that has gone out of my lips.—Psalm 89:34
  6. God can’t remember sins he’s chosen to forget. I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake; and I will not remember your sins.—Isaiah 43:25
  7. God can’t create a loser. Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ.—2 Corinthians 2:14
  8. God can’t abandon you. Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, he is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.—Deuteronomy 31:6
  9. God can’t stop thinking about you. How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with you.—Psalm 139:17-18
  10. God can’t stop loving you. Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.—Jeremiah 31:3
Exert taken from the book titled 101 Things God Can’t Do, ©1996 by Maise Sparks.

the smoke of a thousand villages

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“I have seen, at different times, the smoke of a thousand villages – villages whose people are without Christ, without God, and without hope in this world.” (Robert Moffat who inspired David Livingstone).

In 1816, Robert Moffat was sent out to South Africa and his fiance Mary Smith followed him 3 years later. After spending a year in Namaqualand, with the chief Afrikaner, whom he converted, Moffat returned to Cape Town in 1819 to marry Mary Smith. She proved to be a remarkable woman and most helpful wife.

In 1820 Moffat and his wife, left the Cape. They had a daughter, Mary Moffat (who was later to marry David Livingstone).

The saying above has inspired many missionaries to take the gospel to unreached people over the years. Today it has become increasingly easy communications and transportation, but  Coca-cola seems to have done a better job at making itself known worldwide than the gospel. I HAVE SEEN, MANY TIMES, THE HOUSE LIGHTS OF MANY HOMES AND CITIES–WITHOUT A MISSIONARY OR VOICE TO SHOW THEM THE WAY TO CHRIST. 

“We have all eternity to celebrate our victories, but only one short hour before sunset in which to win them.” – Robert Moffat