Category: quirky

thumb lick thursday [4.7.11]

Posted in church, cross, evangelism, missions, parenting, preaching, quirky, quotes, thumb licksTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

5 Ways to Make Your Kids Hate Church

If you are a parent you have huge influence on whether or not your kids fall in love with Christ’s Church. Thomas Weaver give 5 very real ways parents can cultivate a hateful attitude in their children’s heart towards the church.

My Christian Commitment

“I’m part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I’m a disciple of His and I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still…I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary. I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won’t give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes. And when He does come for His won, He’ll have no problems recognizing me. My colors will be clear!” – Written by a young African pastor. Found among his papers in Zimbabwe after he was martyred

6 Keys to Poor Preaching

Everyone has an opinion on what the pastor should preach. Most of the time people’s opinions lead to poor preaching. Pastors also have the problem of ticking their hearers ears rather than preaching good sermons their hearers need to hear. What makes poor preaching?

The Cross and Criticism

Most of us would agree that criticism is difficult to take. Who of us doesn’t know someone with whom we need to be especially careful in our remarks lest they blow up in response to our suggested corrections? I do not fear man’s criticism for I have already agreed with God’s criticism. And I do not look ultimately for man’s approval for I have gained by grace God’s approval.

Which baseball team should I cheer for this year?

With the 2011 MLB season on its way America’s pastime is in need of serious fans. Maybe you have cheered for the same team you entire life. Maybe you do not know which team to cheer for. Maybe you need to consider the Baseball Flow Chart. [HT]

thumb lick thursday [3.31.11]

Posted in Bible, children, counseling, marriage, missions, parenting, quirky, quotes, suffering, thumb licks, worshipTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Lick it, flip it, clip it, quote it. A thumb lick is a term used to describe the action taken when turning the page of a book. While reading I often find great one-liners, statements and paragraphs that are golden nuggets of biblical wisdom. So Thumb Lick Thursday is a way to pass along great tidbits of truth.

Is Mandated Bible Reading Healthy for Kids?

This is probably one of the most common questions  I hear from parents wanting to establish Christian disciplines in their kids. Every Christian parent deals with this at some point. They struggle with what they should mandate vs just encourage their kids to do. And with this, how much? At what point will we defeat our purpose and discourage them?

Hope for hurting marriages

There are far too many marriages in our Churches and communities that are hanging together by very thin threads. When marriages are like this, patterns of neglect are almost always part of the reason. It takes commitment and work for a marriage to be the mutually satisfying relationship it was intended to be (Note: 5 key commitments for a good marriage).

Worth-ship

Worship is “worth-ship”, an acknowledgement of the worth of Almighty God…It is therefore impossible for me to worship God and yet not care two cents whether anybody else worships Him too…Worship does not beget witness is hypocrisy. We cannot acclaim worth of God if we have no desire to proclaim it. – John Stott, Our Guilty Silence. 27-28

Suffering & Death

The Greatest single secret of evangelistic or missionary effectiveness is the willingness to suffer and die. It may be a death to popularity (by fatefully preaching the unpopular biblical gospel), or to pride (by the use of modest methods in reliance on the Holy Spirit), or to radical and national prejudice (by identification with another culture), or to material comfort (by adopting a simpler lifestyle). But the servant must suffer if he is to bring light to the nations, and the seed must die if it is to multiply. – John Stott, The Cross of Christ, Leicester: IVP, and Downers Grove, IL. 1986. 322.

What are you Sinking about?

It is easy for communication to be lost in translation. This commercial by the German Coast Guard and their new recruit emphasize this point.

thumb lick thursday [3.17.11]

Posted in Bible, parenting, quirky, serving, thumb licksTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Lick it, flip it, clip it, quote it. A thumb lick is a term used to describe the action taken when turning the page of a book. Have you ever know someone who licks their thumb to grip the pages of a new book? While reading I often find great one-liners, statements and paragraphs that are golden nuggets of biblical wisdom. These thumb licks are quotes that must be shared. So Thumb Lick Thursday is a way to pass along great tidbits of truth.

5 Things I’m Surprised I Can’t Find in the Bible [R.C. Sproul]
God is all and only wisdom, the very font of all truth. The Bible is His Word, and is true in all that it teaches, as well as sufficient to guide us into every good work. His Word is perspicuous, that is clear, and understandable.  Not all of the Bible, however, is as clear as all the rest. These ground rules inform us, broadly speaking, that the Bible tells us everything we need to know, but that it might not all be right out there in the open.  He has not only not left us orphans, He has not left us blind. That said, here are five things that are less clear in the Bible than I might, in the abstract, expect them to be.

8 Tips for Talking to Kids about the Sermon
They sit there next to you and their feet don’t even hit the floor.  You’re thinking, “What, if anything of this guy’s sermon is sinking into my kid’s head?”  And with that little thought you’ve already decided not to engage your child about the sermon.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Let me introduce you to the most important rule when talking to your kids about the sermon: They retain more than you think they do.  The second most important rule is like it: They understand more than you think they do.

What if I only give 99%
What you’d get if 99% were good enough: No phone service for 15 minutes each day, over 2 million pieces of first class mail lost each day, unsafe drinking water three days a year, three misspelled words on the average page of type, and 2 million people would die from food poisoning each year. What if your physician only gave 99%?

It’s Not Easy being Green [Kermit the Frog]

For St. Patrick’s Day, I thought I would add some green fun from Kermit. As Kermit would say, “Time is fun when you are having flies.”

football vs. soccer

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Two things I really like: John Cleese and Word Cup soccer. Now I completely understand the differences between football and soccer! Why didn’t we have this dialogue earlier!? No wonder American’s don’t understand soccer.

run like crazy

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I would like to thank my friend Kyle for passing along this clip. It reminds me of the truth found in Genesis 39:1-15 when Joseph ran like crazy from severe temptation because of his conviction to glorify his God.

the tail of a shrew

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a shrew on the loose

The shrew on the loose finally got the noose.

It has been raging battling the past month or more with a shrew on the loose in our house. I plugged every hole I could find with steel wool and set a half-dozen traps in key positions around the house. Nothing. Only 2 escaped traps and a shrew that comes out of hiding any time it pleases, staring us in the face and laughing.

This shrew really tested my patience. This time of year I am use to shrews coming in the house, but have found them easy to trap. However, this guy was a Houdini.

Sarah had a great plan, “How about praying that we catch it?” I wish I would have though of that myself. It wasn’t more than a few hours later that at quarter past three in the morning we caught him. He was under our bed. I quickly got up and disposed of him in the most humanitarian way I could after weeks of annoying varmint-teasing.

I have learned a lot about shrew these past few years. They do eat all the bugs in your house. They cannot climb like mice because they are diggers. The have beady eyes, but a keen sense of smell and hearing. Some people make them pets. For me, as long as they stay outside they are just fine.

a buffet of bratwursts (and a list of all my favorite diners, drive-ins, and dives)

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schmidtsThis weekend I had the glorious opportunity to visit a local restaurant by the name of Schmidt Haus in German Village of Columbus, Ohio. There was a buffet of bratwurst, half-dozen array of amazing sausages, potatoes salads, sour kraut and red cabbage. For dessert we had a half-pound cream puff. It was though I had died and gone to heaven.

Locally established restaurants are definitely better than eating at chains.

Favorite Locally Owned Establishments:

Chaos Paradise in Cahuita, Costa Rica. Delicious red snapper and chicken sandwich with the sounds of reggae and beautiful view of the black sand beaches.

Marathon Junction at the Marathon Country Park in Wausau, WI. If you eat the one-pound Junction Burger you get a few tee-shirt and pride among your friends.

Mint Café, downtown Wausau, WI. Everything is green except the food. Great memories with mom!

Wildwater Joe’s, Daniels, WV. Try the Chili and Slaw dog. You won’t forget the bun and the price. Great deal.

Cathedral Café, Fayetteville, WV. An old church with healthy meals.

Khana Khazana, West Lafayette, IN. Indiana buffet at its best.

Spang’s, St. Germain, WI. Great thin crusted pizza and friendly staff.

Groute Constantia Stellenbosch farm, South Africa. Exotic meats, beautiful mountains and an unforgettable experience.

South Street Smoke House, Lafayette, IN. Almost as good as southern BBQ.

Buckingham’s Springfield, great BBQ west of the Mississippi.

Fried Green Tomatoes, Galena, IL. It’s all in the name. Better than the movie!

Casa Bonita’s, Denver, CO. Cliff divers, eat in a casa, and have amazing Mexican cuisine.

Purple Cow, Virginia Beach, VA. Wonderful milkshakes that turn your mouth purple.

McCord’s Candy in downtown Lafayette, IN. Get an inexpensive meal, homemade Coke, and memories of days gone by.

Rodity’s in Greek Town, Chicago. Opa! Great service and wonderful food.

Red Apple in the Polish District of Chicago. Nothing like perogies and dumplings on a buffet! Like going home for the holiday’s!

Jimmy’s, Philadelphia, PA. A classic cheese steak joint visited by everybody and everybody.

Miller Park, Milwaukee, WI. Nothing like a day of baseball and a brat covered in the secret sauce.

Ricardo’s, Greendale, WI. Pizza the ol’ Milwaukee style: cheese, sausage and mushrooms.

Ed Debevick’s, Chicago, IL. Their rude and crude, but the food is good.

Cousin’s. Something about the bread, but these subs and the cheesy broccoli soup rock!

Suberpia, Milwaukee, WI. The olive oil makes this sub sandwich a winner!

Saz’s, Milwaukee, WI. Best clam strips around.

Texas Inn (or the T room) in Lynchburg, VA. Who would have thought that an egg on a burger would be so tasty? Thanks Chris Korfman for introducing me to the cheesy western burger.

George Webbs, Milwaukee, WI. Breakfast 24-hours a day.

Favorite Chain Restaurants with a Memory:

Ryan’s Steakhouse, Beckley, WV. Nothing like hot rolls and a full belly as a college student!

Duncan Donuts on Harper Road, WV. Good times, great memories and few donuts after midnight.

Dairy Queen, Hinton WV. The view of the river is a great place for a date.

Nandos, Cape Town, South Africa. The chicken is spicy and I crave to go back!!

Culvers. Gotta love the frozen custard (turtle sundaes), butter burgers and fried cheese curds.

Taco Bell. Always a good idea on the front end, but regret it after the fact!

A&W Rootbeer (or Dogs & Suds). You can drive in and get your food at your car window.

girls eat bugs

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The best part of this week is the opportunity to dress up and eat so much candy that your teeth fall out. I swear Halloween was invented by dentists for the sole reason: having job security. I do have proof for that, but it sure does seem logical!

For Halloween this year I was a bug catcher (not the unibomber as it may appear). Sarah was a butterfly.

itchy and scratchy

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Two weeks ago, I went canoeing down the Wildcat River with my girlfriend, Sarah. We had a wonderful day basking in the sun, fishing with little success and enjoying the changing of the seasons. Little did I know, this would be a day I would remember for weeks to come.

Somehow during the journey down stream I got a good old batch of poison oak. I never had this contagious rash before (and can now say, I do never want it again). In fact, I thought my little zit-thingies were just a bad bug bite. A few days had passed until I realized my legs were ballooning and I all I wanted to do was amputate my legs off with a hatchet because they itched something-horrible.

I called a trustworthy doctor who suggested I medicate with various lotions, creames and sprays. Needless to say 15 days later I am still bearing the scars of that wonderful canoeing trip. I would not take that day back for anything, but I do wish I would have caught that itchy plant before it caught me.

10 reasons why Rubber Chickens make great pets

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1.    They’re House Trained
2.    They don’t eat much
3.    You don’t have to walk them
4.    They love to travel
5.    It’s easy to train them (to play dead)
6.    They make a great conversation piece
7.    They’re cute and they love to cuddle
8.    They don’t make noise or wake you in the middle of the night
9.    You’ll never have to take them to the vet
10.  Chicks love them

i learned a new joke

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Some people accuse me of being corny. I think it’s because they just don’t get my humor. Seriously, I have a hard time remembering jokes. I have a storehouse of about about 5 jokes I use on a rotation (that I stole from other people):

1. Knock knock? Who’s there? Duane. Duane who? Duane the bathtub I’m drowning!!

2. What happened to the guy who farted in church? He had to sit in his own pew (my only religious joke)

3. What do you call 2 Spaniards on the back of a fire truck? Hose-A and Hose-B. (not meant to be a racial slur)

4. What do you get when you breed together a Rhinosurous and an Elephant? Elephino (my only dirty joke)

5. Why did the chicken cross the kitchen? to-eat, to-eat, to-eat (this is my new joke learned from PBS Kids last Saturday)

you’re weird

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You know Christians are weird! That almost sounds like a sermon I heard this Sunday at church!? Thanks Kenny for shooting down my already avalanched pride. It was a great message though. The central theme was taken from 1 Peter 1:2 which speaks to the awesomeness of our salvation. I am weird because Christ has changed me.

I desire to be weirdly different than the world around me. Yet I do not want to be different because of silly sacred practices (like bumper sticker evangelism), rather an insatiable desire for satisfaction in Jesus Christ. I came to have a personal relationship with Jesus at the age of twelve within a conservative Bible church and quickly learned that there are things that are uniquely funny about the Christian community. God and living for Him, it was all new to me.

Thanks to a good friend I have located two very funny links that express some of the stange practices of the Christian community (Stuff Christians Like & Whirled Views). I can relate to a lot of these. Enjoy some laughs on me. I hope I am not that weird!