lessons learned from my third year of marriage


one of our first dates on South Street downtown Philly

Marriage is a good thing (cf. 1 Corinthians 7). I can still remember what it was like to be a single guy. It wasn’t that long ago. I liked being single. And I was single for a while. The longer I am married the more I realize what a wonderful thing it is. Sarah is God-sent.

Marriage is work. Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking anything otherwise. Marriage is hard work. It is a field that needs to be cultivated and a storehouse that needs to be stocked. If not, your field will become weeded and shelves become empty. The best work we’ve done for our marriage is to pray together and point each other to Christ. He is our purest example of selfless sacrifice and unconditional love.

Marriage is the mending of best friends forever. Since August, I stepped down from my position as an assistant pastor and we have taken a course direction to plant churches overseas. Immediately our family loaded into our car and began traveling throughout the Midwest. You really learn about someone on a road trip. Sarah and I have been on a 9-month road trip! We’ve both survived and are enjoying getting to know one another better together in our tiny Honda Element. I love living with my best friend.

Marriage is beautiful. If Sarah were president she would be Babe-raham Lincoln! After 1.5 children my wife just gets more beautiful. Sarah is entering her 6th month of pregnancy and is more tired this time than when she was pregnant with Justus. Honestly, she still is the most attractive woman I know, inside and out.

Marriage has softened me. I am not soft in a fluffy or girly way. Although marriage has been healthy for me. Sarah is one good cook! Marriage has softened me like sandpaper to shaves rough edges. I have many insensitive slivers that Sarah has graciously sanded down. It hurts a little, but I think she has a better husband for it. I suppose that’s why God has given me a house full of girls. He is so humorous.

Marriage keeps you honest. It is easy to fib or lie to the one I love (Didn’t think this would be confessional time, eh?), but the longer I am with Sarah the harder it is to get away with dishonesty. Sarah knows me. And I am not a good liar, but Sarah is a good lie detector. Thankfully. It’s best just to be honest from the beginning. It saves marriage from messes.

Marriage is still sanctifying. Living with another person, especially a spouse reveals how selfish you really are. I am quite selfish, even after three years. However, I would like to think I am become more selfless because of the tender helpfulness of my wife. She counsels me to the core.

See entries from years past:
1st anniversary
2nd anniversary

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