Lessons Learned from my fourth year of Marriage

Sarah & Justin-46
Make time for Jesus. This is the first priority. Sarah is my second.

My wife likes the little things. She does a dynamite job caring for our home, even though at this moment our home is in transition. Managing a home is a lot of work filled with many little tasks and no pay. By doing the dishes, changing the laundry, or vacuuming for Sarah can be a huge help to Sarah.

Ask the hard questions. I can read Sarah. She wears her feelings freely on her face. As her husband, I want to go deeper than asking, “How are you doing?” or “What’s up?” That usually goes nowhere. She likes when I asks her questions. She wants to answer.

Listen well. Asking questions is good, but like most dudes I have a natural tendency to listen in order to fix, but often Sarah isn’t looking for a quick fix. She wants me to listen. That in itself is helpful.

We are more alike than we are different. Sarah is not from Venus and I am not from Mars. We are earthlings, moreover, we are children of God made in His image. In God’s eyes, Sarah is a princess and her value is priceless.

We are distinctly different thinkers. Sarah is a verbal processor, while I am a ponderer. The beauty of marriage is discovering how these compliment rather than conflict.

Encourage friendships. Sarah has great friends. When Sarah comes back from a cup of coffee or prayer gathering with the ladies she is re-juiced. It is worth carving out the time to kick Sarah out of the house so she can spend time with her companions.

Snuggle. Sarah likes it when I sit next to her. I mean butted up next to her. Touch is a big thing to her. As a couple, it is good to be intimate often. Touch her heart before you touch her body.

Expect to be sanctified. My sin is so obvious to Sarah. Living with another person, especially a spouse exposes how self-centered I am. God uses Sarah to chisel at my core and I am becoming more selfless. It hurts, but it’s good.

Pray for wisdom. I cannot be the man Sarah needs me to be alone. I need God.

See entries from years past:
1st anniversary
2nd anniversary
3rd anniversary

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