Lessons for parents from Jesus’ parents

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We don’t often think of Jesus being a child, teenager, or even a tween, but He was one. I suppose the reason is that there isn’t a lot of material written about Jesus’ childhood between His birth and late-twenties. What was it like to parent a young Jesus? Perfect right? No tension, no discipline, no disappointment. Well, not exactly. Jesus had a moment of tension, but the tension was only there from the perspective of His parents.

The situation occurred following a family trip to Jerusalem (Luke 2:41ff). Jesus’ family annually observed the Feast of the Passover. It is here that we see some valuable lessons for parents from Jesus’ parents.

1. Godly parents’ obey God first (Luke 2:41-42).

In celebrating Passover, Jesus’ parents were not just taking a fun trip to see local attractions, they were showing their appreciate for the Law and their love for God. Mary and Joseph were living their faith openly before Jesus. This is not the first time we see this young couple loving God and obeying Him (cf. 2:22-24, 39).

Parents who obey God first will often have children who follow closely behind. Children learn by what they see, not just what they hear. Parents who allow their children or society dictate their mode of parenting will be frustrated and disillusioned as will be their children. Put God first before your children. Even when you blow it, let your children see you bend your knees back to Him.

“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:5-9)

Note Jesus’ timing in Jerusalem. He is 12 years old, the age that marked the final year of preparation for a son before he entered full participation in the religious life of the synagogue. Up until this point his parents, especially his father, would teach him the commandments of the law, which were completed with a ceremony where he formally became a “son of the commandment” (bar mitzvah). It was this moment Jesus chose to stay behind in the temple. Perhaps, He wants to demonstrate that He is more than an ordinary Jewish bar mitzvah.

2. Godly parents entrust their children to God early in their childhood preparing them for adulthood (Luke 2:43–50).

Jesus’ family likely traveled in a large group with other relatives, friends, and neighbors. “And when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, but supposing him to be in the company they went a day’s journey.” (vs.43-44) Now the journey from Jerusalem to Nazareth was 153 kilometers (95 miles), and traveling by foot was probably more than a day trip.

Then it happened—a Home Alone moment. In the commotion of leaving the celebration Mary and Joseph didn’t account for their most precious cargo: their son, Jesus. Think about that moment as a parent. Immediately they check every person for details, “When did you see him last?” No quick flights. No cellphones. No 911 or Amber Alert. Quickly they traced their steps back Jerusalem probably checked every town and wayside along the road back.

Do you feel Joseph and Mary were neglectful to leave Jesus behind? There are two interesting things happening here that seem inconsistent. First, Jesus’ seems to disrespect his parents’ time and feelings. Second, there seems to be an implicit faith Mary and Joseph have in their young son. He was not an irresponsible boy nor was He rebellious. They trusted Him and knew He had wisdom. This suggests that Jesus’ motive in staying behind was not carelessness or disrespectful, rather it was purposeful.

After 3-days in Jerusalem, Mary and Joseph finally find Jesus. Where was He? He’s in the temple of all places talking, listening, and asking question of the teachers. He was not like other 12-year old boys who’d probably be at the pool or arcade! Joseph and Mary were beside themselves, frustrated at the circumstances separating them from Jesus. They responded as most parents would, “Why would you do this to us? We’ve been worried sick!”

Jesus’ response is astounding. No doubt this is the point to Luke’s inclusion of this story in his gospel, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house (or doing my Father’s business)?” And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them.” (Luke 2:49-50) Mary and Joseph’s human emotions clouded their understanding that Jesus is God and Savior. They saw themselves as parents and Jesus as their son. And the lack of understanding Jesus’ word showed that there was more going here than meets the eye (cf. Luke 18:34).

Jesus chose this crucial stage in his life, on the brink of manhood, to tell his parents in an unforgettable fashion that He now knows whom His real Father is and what His mission is. In a real sense Simeon prophecy to Mary and Joseph in Luke 2:33-35 was already coming to pass, “a sword will pierce through your own soul also.” The time will come when Jesus will be killed in Jerusalem, 3-days rise from the dead, and that will be a great pain to Mary. And the past 3-day for Mary and Joseph foreshadow that pain.

Joseph and Mary probably saw their parenting role in transition that day. Sometimes the biggest pain in parenting is the pain of having to cut the strings of ownership over the lives of your children. Yet that is the goal of parenting. From the very moment your child enters the world, you are preparing them to live outside your roost and walk in loving obedience to God’s commands. As painful as it is to cut the ties it is even more hurtful to keep them tied. Godly parents entrust their children to God in childhood preparing them for adulthood.

3. Godly parents help their children learn to be obedient to God and to them (Luke 2:51–52).

Following this tense situation Jesus “went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.” (Luke 2:51-52) Jesus understands who He is in God (the Son of God), and man (submissive to His parents). Jesus continued to be under the authority of His parents, but He also recognizes His unique sonship to God and that His mission will require of him a devotion to God’s purposes even if it brought pain and misunderstanding from those closest to Him. In the end, Mary rejoices and treasures this situation in her heart.

Luke now sets the stage for Jesus’ adult ministry as the Son of God. 18 years later, when perhaps some of these very same teachers who marveled at Jesus’ understanding would mock and murder Him. He came to do His Father’s business even if it cost Him His life.

Parents, when teaching your children obedience it must first be modeled by your obedience to God and other authorities over you. I’ve counseled many parents with rebellious teens. Rather than dealing with their children right away I usually have a few questions for the parents, “How do you talk about your boss at the dinner table? How do you talk about the President while watch the news? Or what do you say about the pastor after the service in the car on the way home?” It’s then that the light bulbs turn on for the parents.

Obedience to authority is a milestone of maturity first modeled in parents then followed by their children. When disciplining your children to obey authority it is important to discipline rebellion against it rather than immaturity in it. This teaches children that maturity is a process, but rebellion is direct disobedience that not only has consequences in childhood that if not dealt with will have even severer consequences in adulthood.

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parenting is sanctifying

I am only 11-months into being a parent. Already my little girl is teaching me many things about God:

1. Giving up rights of sleep and other freedoms are just temporary sacrifices but big opportunities to invest in a new life.

Parenting is a temporary stewardship, which I think also means a temporary loss of sleep. I remember the first few days when we brought her home from the hospital and she would cry through the night. Sarah and I would take turns rocking her to sleep. In those frustrating moments God would remind me how dependent and needy I was, just like my little balling baby girl.

2. The work does not end when I get home from the office, it just begins.

The most important work is when I get home with my family. I do not have the right to take it easy or have a break. Passive homes lead to passive kids.

3. It is a joy to watch my wife morph into a mom.

She is becoming the most beautiful mom in the world. I love watching her teach, sing, and disciple one daughter, who now thinks she’s cool with her new tooth.

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children–how on the day that you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, the LORD said to me, ‘Gather the people to me, that I may let them hear my words, so that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children so.’” – Deuteronomy 4:9-10

Jacob: coming home [part 1]

Have you ever been away from home for more than a few months? Or long enough that you miss home sweet home? I have. I remember going to college in West Virginia and being a long way from my family in Wisconsin. I did not get home other than Christmas or summer breaks. After final exams, I would hop into my car and sometimes drive through the night to get home. The last hour always seemed the longest. I was so close, but not there yet.

Jacob must have felt the same way. He had just met his brother on his way home. He reconciled their relationship, which was mangled by lies and deceit. Now after 20 years away from home he can almost see it. He can taste in his mind his mothers home cooked meals. He can smell the farm. He can hear the breeze that carries his father’s voice. Jacob was so close, but not home yet. He decided to settle in Schechem. However, his decision to stay there was as devastating as Lots decision to stay in Sodom rather than traveling on to Bethel [cf. Genesis 13-14].

Jacob’s journey of faith has not ended. The last hours before coming home are still yielding lessons of faith. It is a reminder to all that God is not done with you until He is done with you.

Jacob’s faith has dramatically changed [cf. Genesis 32–33], but his son’s faith would remain nonexistent [Genesis 34]. They were deceitful [34:8–24], murderous [34:25–26], greedy [34:27–29], and proud [34:31]. There were probably characteristics passed down from their parents. However, despite Jacob’s new faith, new name, and found distress over his son’s bad behavior [34:30], Israel could not change his boys. God would have to bring them to a crisis of their own, as we will see later.

Jacob had eleven sons and only one daughter named Dinah. One day Dinah went out to visit other women in the region her parents lived. While out and about the son of the man who ruled that area saw her. He wanted her, but could not have her legitimately. Therefore he raped or seduced her. His act defiled and took her virginity dishonorably. To make matters more complicated he was pagan and he desired to marry her. Intermarriage between believers and unbelievers is condemned throughout Scripture.[1]

Jacob kept the situation a secret until Dinah’s brothers came home. Like protective brothers, they were grieved, disgusted, and furious over the vile action done by an idolatrous man. Dinah’s brothers devised a plan to seek revenge by creatively using the covenant of circumcision [cf. Genesis 17]. Like father like sons these boys learned to be tricksters. They told the men of Schechem a strategic lie, “You can happily intermarry our women and share our great wealth, but you will need to be circumcised.” The men were determined to get beautiful foreign women as brides that after three days all were circumcised.

Two of Dinah’s brothers, Simeon and Levi, were perturbed by men’s swift response. They were certain they would not buy into their plan. So out or rage and intensified revenge they strapped their swords to their sides and entered Schechem to slaughter every man and deliver their sister home safely all the while they looted the entire city, taking all the women and animals. Seeing what his sons had done, Jacob rebuked them for putting his family in danger of attack from the surrounding Schechemite allies. However, the brothers replied praising their heroics and took sides with their sister saying, “Should he have treated our sister like a prostitute?”

Why didn’t Jacob do anything? Is he a passive father? First, it is clear that Jacob hated his wife Leah, and Dinah was the daughter of Leah [30:19-21]. Jacob’s silence and indifference during her defilement indicates that he was not much of a loving father. Second, Jacob’s leadership was filled by the devious plans of his sons. Third, Jacob’s response to his son’s question has a selfish overtone that states on only “me” and he makes no mention of his poor daughter. Like his forefathers we see his imperfection after transformation—we see yet another mini-fall not unlike Adam, Noah, and Abraham. However, in God’s gracious sovereignty He uses Jacob’s sin for His purposes and preserves the line of the covenant family from intermarriage with the Schechemites through the murderous actions of Simeon and Levi.

Faith is not inherited paternally, but only through a decision personally.

Also, this is a reminder that faith—unlike the temporary blessings that passed from Abraham to Isaac to Jacob, and then to Jacob’s sons—is not passed down genetically. You cannot be born a Christian. Even though you may have godly parents, be part of a great church, and have good Christian friends you still have to encounter Jesus yourself. God encounters people individually, and people must place their faith in Him individually. Like their father, Jacob’s sons committed their own sins and like Jacob they would have to make God their own God. You cannot inherit faith; you must get it from God. There is no other way.

This journey home for Jacob is a rough road that paves the way for a future of faith in God’s promises. He is not there yet. Likewise God is not finish with you either. The pressures of life and family struggles are opportunities for you to trust in the promises of God. Next week we will see more about how God keeps His word and journey with Jacob to his home sweet home.


[1] Abraham was worried that Isaac would marry outside of the covenant as Ishmael had (Genesis 21:21, 24:3-4), and Esau’s intermarriage with the unbelieving Hittites which was a source of great trouble (Genesis 26:34-35, 27:46, 28:8).

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Parenting 001

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extreme makeover: home edition

Most parents agree that they desire to have a happy house with children who are successful, financially responsible, skillful, educated, athletic and active. These are not wrong desires, but they could also distract you from God’s agenda for your home. What is God’s agenda for the home? God desires for parents to raise their children in such a way that they will lovingly, joyfully, passionately, and freely follow Jesus Christ. This is the greatest agenda for parents. God’s agenda for children is also similar: to obey their God-given authority and make Jesus Christ the passion of their life.

In Ephesians 6:1-4, God sets a clear agenda for the home, which is a wonderful picture of His gospel. Let’s look at the basis, goal and technique for living as God’s kind of home.

The Basis of a Godly Home is Obedience [Ephesians 6:1]

I did not grow up singing the famous children’s Sunday School songs, but one I do know is, “Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe: Doing exactly what the Lord commands, doing it happily. Action is the key–do it immediately, the joy you will receive! Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe. O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E (Yes, sir!) Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe.” I am sure that was a fun song to sing as a kid and there is a lot of truth to this song, but as a child grows older that some might mean something entirely different. Obedience is a willingness to submit to ones authority without challenge, excuse or delay.

How should I discipline children of different ages?

For many children, following God’s agenda is difficult because they want what they want, when they want it, in the way they want it. Therefore, children test boundaries, push limits, and stress the consistency of their parents. Is this really the agenda of cute innocent children? Surely I just have a pessimistic view of children? No. I just believe what the Bible says, everyone child is born a sinner into a sinful world and sinning comes natural.

Why is it important for children to obey their parents? Obedience teaches children how to live under authority, especially God’s authority [5:21]. Authority is like an umbrella of protection for our good and God’s glory. In ancient days, the father could maintain authority in the home until death. When do you cease being a child? You never cease being a child to your parents. “Child” does not denote age, but relationship. Even as an adult you are still your parents children. However, as you grow older your relationship with your parents may morph [cf. 2:24] because biblically parenting is a temporary stewardship preparing you for your own permanent relationship of marriage.

The Goal of a Godly Home is Honor [Ephesians 6:2-3]

What does it mean to honor? Honor means you have an attitude of godly fear towards your parents because you know they have been give to you by a higher authority—God [cf. Leviticus 19:3, 14; Deuteronomy 4:10]. When you obey your parents it is a way of honoring them. Can you obey without honoring? Yes, this is called legalism. Follow rules, but not following lovingly and joyfully isn’t honor. This might run in tandem with our culture that says that ‘honor is earned’; rather God says honor no matter what because God particularly places your parents as your authority.

Paul begins this verse by quoting the 5th Commandment. [Exodus 21:12] He also notes that this is the first commandment with a promise in relation to other humans. What is the promise? The promise is that if you honor your parents you are also honoring God; therefore, God will bless you with an enjoyable life.

Exodus 20:12 Deuteronomy 5:16 Ephesians 6:1-3 Colossians 3:20
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. ‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you. 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.2“Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3“that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” 20Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

Should you honor your parents if they are not believers or spiritually mature? Even if your parents do not have a biblical perspective of life you are still called to honor and obey them. Now if your parents specifically ask you to do something sinful you are called obey God who is your higher authority. If your parents abuse their authority it is proper to remove yourself from their authority until they makeover their home to match God kind of parent.

What are there benefits or drawbacks to obeying your parents? There are times when obedience might prevent you from doing something you really would like to do. This is not always a bad thing. I remember asking my parents if I could spend the night at a friend’s house from school. They denied the request because they knew that this friend was not a good influence on me. I was upset, but after the fact I was appreciative my parents were protecting me. In the future, my honor for my parents grew and it was easier to obey.

Here are some practical ways you can honor your parents: Do not talk back to your parents privately or publicly. Do not complain about your parents to others. Protect the integrity of your family. Listen to their wise counsel. Seek their wise counsel for decisions. Do not repeat their sinful habits. If you disagree do not argue in defense.

The Technique for have a Godly Home is Training in Truth [Ephesians 6:4]

In verse 4, fathers are singled out. Why are father’s singles out? As children obey, fathers are not to neglect their responsibility of point their children to Christ. Every father is accountable to God for the spiritual climate of his home [1 Timothy 3:4-5].[1] This climate can be controlled as the father teaches and consistently models Christlikeness to his children.

How does a parent provoke his children to wrath?

Training children is like giving them spiritual nourishment that will help them grow spiritually strong so that when they are on their own Satan will not have an influence on them. The greatest device the devil uses to cause division in the home is prolonged anger of the children towards their parents. Parents can feed this anger by not following Christ [cf. Colossians 3:20-21].

Training in Truth focuses on the gospel: the child’s need of a Savior [Romans 6:23] because they are accountable to God [Dt.4:9; 6:6-7]. This child must be taught about their sinful heart [Rom.5:12; Prov. 22:15]. Following salvation, parents have an enormous task of teaching their children to follow God’s Word [Ps.1:1-3; 2 Timothy 3:15-17], repent, restore and mature in Christlikeness [Ephesians 4:22-32]. This is how the child comes face-to-face with the gospel.

If you desire to have a happy house, with children who are successful, financial fiscal, skillful, educated and active above God’s agenda for your home you might be raising children who worship these agendas because they have a  distorted understanding of the gospel. Unless the gospel is central in the child all other agendas can become idols. God’s desire for parents is to raise their children in such a way that they will lovingly, joyfully, passionately, and freely follow Jesus Christ. This is the greatest agenda for parents. And God’s desire for children is to obey their God-given authority and make Jesus Christ the passion of their life. The gospel means God is always at the center of the family, not the child or parent.

Great Resources for Parents:

Shepherding a Child’s Heart [Tedd Tripp]

Gospel-Powered Parenting [William P. Farley]

Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens [Paul David Tripp]

Angry Children—Understanding and Helping Your Child Regain Control [Mike Emlet]

Addressing the Problems of Rebellious Children [Mary Somerville]


[1] Fathers responsibility: Psalm 103:13; Matthew 7:9-11; Proverbs 3:11-12; Psalm 72:2-8; Deuteronomy 6:6-7; Hebrews 12:7-11

what does the Trinity teach us about relationships?

Within the Trinity there is both unity and diversity: unity without uniformity, and diversity without division. This unity and diversity is at the core of the great mystery of the Trinity. Unity without uniformity is baffling to our finite minds, but there are demonstrations of this truth all around us; like a symphony, the human body, ecosystems, the church, the human race, a delicious meal, or a sporting event. Unity and diversity are woven into the fabric of the world by multiple images of the One who made it with unity and diversity.

Our human relationships uniquely and divinely reminisce the relationship between the Persons of the Trinity. This is no mistake, since man’s Maker stamped each man in His image. Most people never consider where this similarity has originated, but God has innately marked His creation with creative features that mimic Him—including our relationships. Today we will look at three distinct relationships that the Bible demonstrated both the unity and diversity of the Trinity:

Marriage is a relationship that demonstrates the Trinity’s unity and diversity [Ephesians 5:22-33]

Marriage is a wonderful picture that God uses to demonstrate His character as an unconditional, faithful, and sacrificial Lover. From the beginning of Creation God made man equal in His image [Genesis 1:26-27]. Though man and woman are quite diverse in appearance and God-given roles [Genesis 2; 1 Peter 3:1-7], they are both equally made in the image of God. If only man and woman within marriage would consider one another images of God, much of the conflict and chauvinism would dissipate.

The unifying love that Jesus has for His church is a beautiful demonstration of marriage [Ephesians 5:22ff]. Marriage is pictured in Christ sacrificing Himself for His church and the church submitted to Christ, which is paralleled by the husbands love his wife, the wife submitted to her husband, and both out of reverence towards Christ.

Church Body is a relationship that demonstrates the Trinity’s unity and diversity [Ephesians 4:1-16]

There is a glorious union between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Biblical Christianity stands or falls with the doctrine of the Trinity. Within the doctrine of the Trinity there are practical Implications. First, the Trinity makes God known in Christ [John 1:18; Exodus 33:20; 1 Timothy 6:16]. Second, the Trinity makes the salvation possible [Hebrew 9:14]. Third, the Trinity is fully dependent upon Himself [Acts 17:25]. Fourth, The Trinity provides the ultimate model for relationships within the body of Christ [1 Corinthians 11:3; 12:4–6; Ephesians 4:4–7].

When believers enter into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ they are adopted into God’s family—the church. The church body is made up of members who are all equal in the eyes of God. God in His divine purposes designed the church to function locally as a means for each member to grow spiritually through mutual relations and gift-oriented ministry with one another. Within His Body, God has given all a diverse role in order for the church to be unified in its display of God’s glory. God gave to the church offices: elders and deacons from the membership who are equal, but the elders are supposed to lead, the deacon’s serve, and the membership minister. When each one is doing their part the Body is a beautiful reflection of God’s unity and diversity.

Leadership (i.e. parenting & governing authority) is a relationship that demonstrates the Trinity’s unity and diversity [Ephesians 6:1-9]

The Trinity—God the Father, God the Son, God the Spirit—one God, three persons, all equal but submissive. God the Son submits to God the Father and recognizes Him as the leader. There is leadership within the Trinity. This is called relational subordination.

Jesus, though He is equal with God, willfully submits Himself to the Father. He submits to the Father out of love [John 4:34; 14:31; 15:9-10], reverence for His divine authority [1 Corinthians 11:3; 15:25-28; John 3:16-17; 10:36; 6:38], and reliance upon the Holy Spirit for power and direction [Luke 4:1-2, 16-21]. Likewise, it is marvelous how the Father shines His spotlight on the Son as He purposes all things to be subject to Jesus [Psalm 2:7-9; Ephesians 1:9-10; 5:21; 1 Corinthians 15:27-28; Revelation 5:1-5, 8-9]. Likewise, the Holy Spirit pours forth the message of Jesus in the Word of God [2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Peter 1:20-21, Luke 24:24-27, 44, 1 Corinthians 1:18, 23, 2:2, Galatians 6:14].

Submission to leadership practically plays itself out in two ways: through parenting and governing authorities. In the government of a home: mom, dad, and the children are equal made in God’s image, but dad’s are supposed to lovingly, humbly, and sacrificially lead [Ephesians 6:1-4]. Also, God appoints government leaders and bosses, and our response is to joyfully submit as if we are laboring for God [Ephesians 6:5-9; Romans 13:1-7]. This can be difficult especially in a world that is filled with crooked politicians, unreasonable employers, and passive fathers, but we have an awesome example to follow in God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

In conclusion, the Trinity gives us a multifaceted look at relationships. Whether, in a marriage, church, home, business or nation God has demonstrated to us unity within diversity. Imagine if in each arena of your life you were to embrace the diversity rather than run from it, what unity could there be?

parents

5star

The key to having a good relationship with others people (parents), is to have your foundation built on God. God is about to transition the commandments from a vertical (God) focus to a horizontal (man) focus. The relationship that God focuses on is the parent-child relationship. This foundation relationship affects most if not all your other relationships.

The Fifth Commandment: “Honor your parents.” (Exodus 20:12). In other words we are to respect them with out words and ways. We are to we honor them with our attitudes and actions. We are to behave in a way that would reflect on our love for God.

To understand this command we have to know what honor means. Honor means to take them seriously even though they are not perfect. To hold them up as the God-given authorities in your life.

To be honest, I had a difficult time honoring my parents as a child. I didn’t get too many golden stars or badges of honor for the way I acted or talked with them. I have since sought to reconcile this by putting on the 5 Badges for Honoring your Parents: (*****)

1. Love. Love is more than words, “I love you.” Love is active, I love you there for I will show you. Love is motivated to do something lovely. Imagine if Jesus saw our condition and just said, “I love you,” but didn’t do anything about it. Rather His love for you motivated Him to act as a Savior for your sins. Your relationship with your parents is just the same, you need to be actively loving. You cannot wait for them to take the first step, you are to initiate it (love is not conditional: I do love if you love me first).

2. Forgiveness. This is a tough one. Everyone has different issues at home, and even though I don’t know what you go through at home or what your parents are like (abused, abandoned, alcohol, anger, etc). The odds are against you to be a forgiver if your parents are not good or godly.

Truthfully, those who have godly parents have an easier time keeping this 5th Command. I didn’t have perfect godly Christians parents and I know how hard it is to honor parents when words fly, tempers flair, and the circumstances seem unreasonable or abnormal. Yet Jesus knows what we are going through. He has been there. His closest friends bailed on Him when He needed them the most. People beat Him, spit on Him, mocked Him, cursed Him, abused and tortured Him. Since He has been there too you can take your problems and pains to Him (God knows your parents and your situation very well, and they will get their just punishment; Lk.17:1-2).

If you harbor unforgiveness towards your parents you are giving a foothold to the devil (Eph.4:27). He is a little a skilled rock-climber. You give him one toehold, he’s hanging on and you cant shake him off. Does Satan own real-estate in your life because of unforgiveness you have towards your parents? If yes, then it’s time to apologize to your parents and not expect anything in return. Forgiveness releases the bonds of bitterness and frees you to love your parents.

3. Unity. God has a chain of command in our lives. Respect your authorities and live in peace with them. God put imperfect parents (employers, pastors, coaches, teachers) into your life for His purpose, to help you grow into the image of God. Unity begins with your heart (love and forgiveness). Unity doesn’t mean you allow authorities to walk all over you, but that you honor them as your authority.

There is a lack of respect for authority in our culture today. Negative dinner table talks about bad bosses, parents and political leaders teaches a child that it is okay to ‘dis’ authority. Help your parents to honor authorities in their lives too.

4. Value. You were born dependent upon your parents. You needed them to grow. They feed you, clothed you, changed all your dirty-stinky diapers, cleaned your messed and more. As we grow we become more independent. Yet as your parents grow them become more dependent upon you to care for them. We are to value them at every stage of our lives and theirs. To honor them is to value their place in their lives. Be careful of speaking negatively about them to others, joking about them or rejecting them. Value their insights on live and their experiences of ‘been there and done that.’

5. Encourage. Show and share with your parents you love, admiration and appreciation. Even though they may not be perfect or polluted with sin God has placed them in your life. Encourage them to love and follow after God. Appreciate them all the days of your life.

A day might come when you will get that dreaded call, “It’s your dad, he…” or “I’m sorry but your mom…” In this moment you have a choice: to hang your head in shame because you didn’t honor your parents or hold your head high with joy because you honored them.

Honoring your imperfect parents is just as honorable as honoring your perfect God. Wear your badges proudly to love, forgive, unify, value and appreciate your parents. These are the rock-solid foundations for godly relationships.