We are tempted every day. No one is invisible to temptation. When the Bible talks about temptation, it is never “if”; it is always “when.” The bait is bound to lure you in and tempt to hook you. It is our responsibility to know what the bait is and how to avoid its trap.
The Bible is clear from the Seventh Commandment: “Do not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14) Now, adultery doesn’t happen over night. There are certain sly and stealthy steps that lead to Adultery:
It all starts with a distraction—maybe you are tired or weak, lonely or desperate, invisible or in the moment. Then that distractions leads to an attraction. It only takes a moment to notice someone of the opposite sex (walking along and BAM!); this is the the step of the second look. At this point we must stop, look the other way and change. James 1:14-15 “ But each of us is tempted when, by his own evil desires, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” Sadly, most do not stop at this step, but are tempted to step into the trap.
The next step is infatuation (sinful attitude) or in other words adultery of the mind (heart). Your imagination starts pursuing what you would like to do with that person of the opposite sex. Jesus says adulterous attitudes are just as sinful as adulterous actions (Mt.5:28). These attitudes are just one small step away from our final step, which is the sinful action. God is clear that this is having sex with someone who is not your spouse outside the covenant of marriage.
Adultery can take on many different shapes and forms:
- Lust—“adulterous attitude” with an imagined desire to do something with someone other than your spouse.
- Pornography—“adulterous attitude” with an image that represents someone created in the image of God and that is not your spouse.
- Masturbation—“adulterous attitude” bringing about an emotion connected with the sinful act.
- Sex before of Marriage—“adulterous action”
- Cheating on boyfriend or girlfriend—“adulterous action”
- Affairs before marriage—“adulterous action”
There are essentially two different ways of responding to an adulterous situation. First, repent and change by seeking counsel, restoration, and forgiveness. The other is to reject and covering up by continuing to live in your sin and believe in sinful lies.
Lies are easy to come by when used to cover up adultery, here are some of the most common:
1. Marriage (or another relationship) will make it all better. If you do not change your sinful attitudes before marriage you will bring them into your marriage. This is a recipe for relationship murder. Wedding vows are a commitment for life, “till death do you part.” You choose to love God and your future spouse.
2. God wants me to be happy. Some think, “I would be happy if we could just have sex now.” Truth is: God places obedience before happiness (Ps.16:11). When we obey God’s way of doing this it brings us the most joy. It is like drinking puddle water when God offers your puree. If we disobey God it just brings about guilt and a desire to continue on sinning.
3. I didn’t do anything wrong. Pretending it never happened or denial is a quick fix, but it never really fixes the problem. Two wrongs do not make a right. Even though know one will know or might never find out, you still know and so does God. Remember, your lust grows to sin, sin leads to death, and death brings about the stench of decay. It is a matter of time before your sin finds you out. God doesn’t allow us to conceal our sin successfully.
4. My friends think it is okay. Maybe you have a support system of friends that back your sinful decisions and give you the confirmation that what you are doing is normal and all right. God calls these friends, “fools.” True friends do not lead you into sin; they protect you and bring you to God.
Have you been lured in to take a nibble or eat of adultery’s buffet? Are you past the distraction step into the attraction, infatuation or sinful action step? Here is some ammunition to help you the next time you are tempted to sin:
1. Think about the consequences of your sinfulness. Stop to think for a moment about what this sin will do to you, your future spouse, children, or your relationship with God. A brief moment of ecstasy for a lifetime of pain. Sin is destructive and it murders relationships. And once you are cooked Satan loves to fry us in our guilt making us believe that we are now worthless and not important to God.
2. Know your weaknesses. Is there a particular time or place that brings you more temptation? (movies, tv, internet, alone, after school, late at night, tired, flirty, etc.) Avoid these if you can, if not pray for protection and seek a godly friend to keep you accountable. Do you have a good friend/leader you can talk to about this?
3. Make purity your purpose. Commit to God to do it His way: to be pure until marriage. Allow God to change you from the inside out. God what you to do it His way always, because His way always works.