lessons learned from my first year of marriage


1. Marriage is sanctifying. God has used Sarah in many wonderful ways to chisel away at my insensitive parts and sinful flaws. Marriage has been molding me a like a clay model muddied and re-imaged by the Masters hands into the image of Christ [1 Peter 3:1-7].

2. Deal with conflict ASAP. By dealing with anger and communicating clearly as soon as possible resolution and restoration come quickly.

3. Create healthy and happenin’ habits:

  • Every week have a date night. Turn the phones off. Guard with care.
  • Have weekly sabbath rest.
  • Pray together daily.
  • Keep in contact with good friends.

4. Shoot for a forever honeymoon. Before marriage we got good advice, “If you live in obedience to Christ you will have a forever honeymoon.”

5. Remember your first love. Sarah and I love God first. There are times when we are jealous [in a good way] of our love for God. Only God is truly faithful [Psalm 145:7].

6. Laugh at yourself and each other. We make a habit of watching America’s Funniest Videos each morning before heading out the door. Laughing together helps you stick together.

7. Build something together.
This year we have grown a garden and done some fun art projects together. The illustration of building fits the picture of a growing marriage.

8. Do something you don’t like. I hate doing the dishes, but they got to get done. I find the most loving thing I can do is do the dishes with my delightful wife.

9. Talk-walks. We take weekly walks in the parks, through the neighborhood or downtown. Not only is it fresh air and fitness, but great times to talk together.

10. Pray, pray, and pray some more. I have a hard time talking to God if I am having a hard time talking to Sarah. Prayer is our most intimate moments within marriage [thanks to the words of wisdom in Bob & Elva Jean Lilly].

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9 Comments on “lessons learned from my first year of marriage”

  1. May 2, 2010 at 2:50 PM #

    Dude, this is really good. I might have to save it for someday.

  2. Natalie
    May 3, 2010 at 12:22 AM #

    Has it really been a year? My goodness time flies!

  3. May 11, 2011 at 10:42 PM #

    I just ran across your blog and I love it!! What great advice and i loooove the picture here of you two!

    • May 12, 2011 at 8:52 AM #

      Thanks so much for your encouragement. Marriage is a great tool of God for growth in Christ. It looks like from your picture that you just got married? Congrats!!

  4. May 26, 2011 at 10:21 PM #

    yes I am a newlywed of just 2 months!

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